Not a violent and unprovoked assault.
When the bathroom floor decided to rotate itself through 90 degrees and smack me in the face at 6 o’clock this morning, I quite naturally assumed there had either been an earthquake, or someone had pulled my feet from underneath me.
It rapidly became clear that himself had not taken it upon himself to rugby tackle me maliciously in the early hours of the day.
And fortunately, the Hampshire/Surrey border has not become an earth quake zone.
It would appear that my attempt to get up close and personal with the ceramic tiles and a certain amount of dust, was the result of a vestibular malfunction.
Whilst relatively unscathed, my confidence in my ability to remain upright has been somewhat dented.
Meanwhile Rachael has developed a charming little bug which involves enthusiastic vomiting and a nasty case of conjunctivitis.
So if you spot a rather sad looking red-eyed puppy accompanied by a woman walking gingerly with her head fixed in one position. That will be us.
Hopefully we will be returned to good working order shortly!